The Things We Mistake for Ourselves

On Chinese Medicine, emotional balance, and reconnecting with our authentic nature, by Jon McDonell, Dr. Ac

What is the goal of Acupuncture and Chinese Medicine?

For many people, the first answer that comes to mind is pain relief. For others, it might be something a little more holistic, like returning the body to a state of balance.

Neither answer is wrong. In fact, both are important parts of what we do.

But after years of practicing Chinese Medicine, I've come to believe there's something even deeper beneath these goals: helping people reconnect with their authentic selves.

I know, it might sound a little esoteric, but stay with me for a minute.

We Are Shaped by Our Environment

Chinese Medicine is a holistic system that considers not just the individual, but also the environment in which they live.

Our bodies are not separate from the world around us. We exist in a constant relationship with our surroundings, responding to everything from the changing seasons and the foods we eat to our relationships, daily routines, and emotional experiences.

In Chinese Medicine, we recognize environmental influences such as Cold, Heat, Dampness, Dryness, and Wind. These are more than descriptions of the weather. They're also part of a traditional framework for understanding the patterns of illness that can develop within the body.

Consider someone living in a dark, damp basement suite with little natural light or fresh air. Over time, those conditions may influence their energy, mood, and general well-being.

In Chinese Medicine, we might describe certain symptoms, such as heaviness, lethargy, bloating, or fluid retention, through the concept of Dampness. This doesn't mean that living in a damp environment automatically causes internal Dampness, but it illustrates how our surroundings can contribute to the patterns we experience.

Now, I want you to take this idea one step further.

Rather than thinking of these influences solely as causes of physical discomfort, imagine them as potential "distorting influences" that can affect the way we perceive ourselves and engage with the world around us.

When Imbalance Changes How We Experience Life

Let's consider someone experiencing a pattern of Heat.

In Chinese Medicine, Heat may be associated with symptoms such as restlessness, irritability, disturbed sleep, excessive thirst, or feelings of agitation.

But think about how those symptoms might influence someone's everyday life.

Perhaps they find themselves increasingly impatient, snapping at their partner over something insignificant or feeling frustrated by situations they would ordinarily handle with ease.

Maybe they feel as though they're constantly operating with a shorter fuse than they'd like.

Now consider someone experiencing Cold.

Cold is traditionally associated with contraction, slowing, and certain kinds of pain. A person who is chronically uncomfortable, depleted, or physically withdrawn might also find themselves retreating emotionally. Perhaps they have less energy for socializing, spontaneity, or connecting with the people they love.

Of course, being emotionally distant doesn't necessarily mean someone has a Cold pattern, just as being quick-tempered doesn't automatically indicate Heat.

These patterns are more complex than that.

But they invite us to consider something important:

Our physical and emotional states can profoundly influence how we show up in the world.

And sometimes, when those states persist long enough, we begin to mistake them for who we are.

The Things We Mistake for Ourselves

Maybe you've spent years telling yourself that you're simply an anxious person.

Maybe you've decided that you're naturally impatient, easily overwhelmed, emotionally distant, or someone who struggles to connect with others.

And perhaps some of these characteristics really are part of your temperament. Chinese Medicine recognizes that each of us has a unique constitution, with our own natural tendencies, strengths, and vulnerabilities.

But what if some of the things you've come to identify with are actually expressions of a body and nervous system that have been struggling to find equilibrium?

What if your irritability isn't simply a personality flaw, but something that's being intensified by chronic stress, poor sleep, or physical discomfort?

What if your tendency to withdraw isn't a reflection of how little you care about others, but of how little energy you've had available to give?

What if there's a difference between who you are and the state you're in?

I think about this often in my practice.

We have a remarkable ability to adapt to our circumstances, but that adaptability can sometimes work against us. When we spend enough time feeling exhausted, anxious, overwhelmed, or disconnected, those experiences can begin to feel normal.

We stop recognizing them as states we're experiencing and begin incorporating them into the stories we tell about ourselves.

I'm just an angry person.

I've always been anxious.

I'm terrible at handling stress.

That's just how I am.

But what happens when we begin to question those stories?

Balance Doesn't Mean Being Happy All the Time

Now, I want to make an important distinction here.

The goal of Chinese Medicine isn't to transform everyone into some idealized version of a person who never gets angry, never experiences sadness, and never feels afraid.

Those emotions are part of being human.

In fact, classical Chinese Medicine recognizes the importance of our emotional lives. Anger, joy, worry, grief, and fear are not inherently pathological. They're natural responses to the experiences we encounter.

Sometimes anger tells us that a boundary has been crossed. Sometimes sadness is an appropriate response to loss. Sometimes fear alerts us to something that deserves our attention.

An emotion doesn't become a problem simply because it's uncomfortable.

Instead, I find it helpful to consider our capacity to move through these experiences without becoming completely overwhelmed or defined by them.

Can we feel anger without allowing it to dictate our every action?

Can we experience fear while still making decisions that reflect our values?

Can we recognize when we're exhausted, overwhelmed, or disconnected, and respond with curiosity rather than self-judgment?

For me, this is one of the most meaningful ways to understand balance.

Not as some permanent state of serenity, but as a greater capacity to respond to life's changing circumstances with awareness and flexibility.

Reconnecting With the Shen (神)

In Chinese Medicine, we have a concept called Shen (神), commonly translated as Mind or Spirit.

Shen is a rich and multifaceted concept, encompassing aspects of consciousness, mental activity, emotional expression, and our capacity to engage meaningfully with the world.

Traditionally, the Shen is closely associated with the Heart, but its expression depends on the harmonious functioning of the body as a whole.

This is one of the reasons I find Chinese Medicine so compelling.

It doesn't ask us to separate our mental and emotional experiences from our physical health. Instead, it encourages us to consider how these different aspects of ourselves influence one another.

When someone comes to see me for acupuncture, we might begin by addressing something tangible: chronic pain, digestive discomfort, poor sleep, or ongoing stress.

But as those symptoms begin to improve, something interesting can sometimes happen.

A person who has been exhausted for months might rediscover their enthusiasm for a hobby they once loved.

Someone who's been struggling with persistent discomfort might find they have more patience and emotional energy for their relationships.

Another person might simply begin to feel more present in their body, more aware of their needs, or more capable of recognizing when something in their life needs to change.

These experiences are not guaranteed outcomes of treatment, and they aren't always dramatic.

Sometimes they're surprisingly subtle.

But I think they speak to something important about the relationship between physical well-being and our sense of self.

Returning to Ourselves

When I talk about helping someone reconnect with their authentic self, I'm not suggesting there's a perfectly balanced version of them hidden somewhere beneath their symptoms, waiting to be uncovered.

Nor do I believe that every uncomfortable emotion or difficult personality trait is evidence of an internal imbalance.

We're all shaped by our experiences, our relationships, our environments, and the choices we make throughout our lives.

And sometimes, the most authentic thing we can do is acknowledge that something in our lives genuinely needs to change.

But I do believe that our physical and emotional health can influence how freely we're able to express ourselves.

When we're chronically exhausted, anxious, uncomfortable, or overwhelmed, our world can begin to feel smaller. We may find ourselves reacting to life rather than consciously participating in it.

And when we begin to address the conditions contributing to those experiences, we may discover a little more room to breathe.

More room for curiosity. For connection. For spontaneity. For joy.

More room to respond to life in ways that feel aligned with who we want to be.

To me, this is one of the deeper possibilities of Acupuncture and Chinese Medicine.

Not simply relieving pain or correcting imbalances, although those are certainly worthwhile goals.

But helping create the conditions in which we can better understand ourselves, recognize our needs, and participate more fully in our own lives.

Because sometimes healing isn't about becoming someone new.

It's about rediscovering the parts of ourselves that have been difficult to access for a while.

And perhaps that's a form of balance worth cultivating.